The Best Peer Groups Allow for Deep Sharing and Learning by Embracing These 5 Habits

The best peer groups allow leaders to share challenges and get unvarnished feedback.

As a strategic business coach who’s worked with dozens of companies and hundreds of CEOs and business executives, I’ve seen the power that peer groups can have on professional development and leadership effectiveness. I’ve also run dozens of mastermind and peer groups and know firsthand what it takes for a peer group to be effective and impactful.

While every group is different in its focus and format, the best groups share a common set of values and habits. These values and habits allow members of the group to share deeply, provide important and meaningful insight about themselves and their situations, and create a context that fosters support and learning.

Here are the top five that I’ve seen which drive the most worth. If you’re in a peer group or thinking of joining one, consider how well you and your fellow members embrace these practices.

1. Show up and do the work

The first thing you need to do is show up, both physically and mentally. This means arriving with energy and focus, not tired and bedraggled. Get a good night’s sleep, work out, eat well, etc. Doing so will ensure that you’re able to pay attention and contribute to your utmost ability.

You also need to show up mentally. Rushing into these types of meetings from the office or a meeting with clients doesn’t give you the time and space you need to decompress and clear your mind. Take some time before your peer group meeting to relax and make the mental shift.

If you’re still processing a difficult conversation or your mind is racing from all of the follow-up items from your previous meetings, you won’t have the mindset to engage properly with your peers and the discussion topics.

2. Be vulnerable

The point of a true peer group is to get open honest feedback on your most pressing challenges and most important decisions. If you aren’t able or willing to really put everything on the table, your peers won’t be able to give you the input you need.

Obviously, this isn’t easy. Oftentimes, our biggest challenges stem from personal weakness, fears, and previous poor decisions. Admitting that we’re flawed and have internal shortcomings is not easy, but it’s the key to growth and development.

One of my favorite quotes from Brené Brown, the Harvard Business School expert on vulnerability, is “vulnerability is [seen as] courage in other people, but weakness in ourselves”

3. Speak from experience

If you’ve been part of organizations like the Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) or Young Presidents' Organization (YPO) you know they follow something called Gestalt Protocol. This ground rule says that you can’t give other members advice. Instead, you are encouraged to share the learning experience that you’d had that relates to the person’s situation. While this can be a little awkward, it’s a great way to keep the conversation open and safe for everyone involved. This approach is great for any peer-group program.

By sharing experiences rather than telling people what they should do, you avoid making people defensive and keep them from feeling judged by fellow members. You also keep the person in control of their decisions and outcomes since they get to decide what to take away from your story. For everyone else in the group, they get to hear your learning and wisdom and can apply it to their own situations and challenges.

4. Give before you take

Too often I see people join these types of groups expecting immediate benefits and value. And while you will often get new insights quickly, you need to appreciate that it takes time for the group to develop and for people to get to know each other. When I run mastermind and peer groups, I tell everyone that they need to expect to be giving to the group before they can expect anything in return.

In fact, the more you focus on giving early on and without expectations, the sooner you’ll inspire others to give in return. And while there are no guarantees, giving generously and early will speed up the process. f you don’t get anything in return after a reasonable effort, then it might not be the group for you. In which case, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.

5. Practice gratitude

I find that these types of groups tell you what you need to hear, but not always what you want to hear. It can be hard to realize that your challenges stem from your own flawed thinking, ineffective skills, and inexperience. And while you might not like the feedback you’re getting, you need to welcome it and appreciate it. Practicing gratitude for everything you’re getting from the group will keep the lines of communication open and insight flowing.

Masterminds and peer groups are a unique and highly effective way to develop your leadership skills and business strategy. However, they can vary and present different experiences for many. Keeping these five key habits in mind will help both you and the others in your group in adding to and gaining value from the experience.

Sign up for my newsletter to get these delivered to your inbox once a week... http://www.eckfeldt.com/subscribe